Paddys note
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Paddy’s Sick Note

Dear boss I write this note to tell you of my plight,
And at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight.
Me body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray.
So I hope you’ll understand why Paddy's not at work today.

I was working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear.
Now to throw them down from such a height seemed not a good idea.
Oh, the foreman wasn't pleasant, he bein’ an awkward sod.
He said I'd have to carry them down the ladder in me hod.

Now, shifting all these bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow.
So I hoisted up a barrel, and secured a rope below.
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see;
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

So then when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead.
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket, to my dismay I found,
That halfway up, I met the bloody barrel coming down.

The barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
And when I reached the top, I struck the pulley with me head.
I spun around though numb with shock from this almighty blow,
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks from fourteen floors below.

When these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel, and I started down once more.
Still clinging tightly to the rope, I headed for the ground.
And I fell among the building bricks that were scattered all around.

As I lay there upon the bricks I thought I passed the worst,
But the barrel struck the pulley, then the bottom it was burst.
A shower of bricks came down on me - I didn’t have a hope.
As I was losing consciousness: I let go of the bloody rope.

The barrel it being heavier it started down once more,
And landed right across me as I lay on the floor.
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say;
I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.